12:46 PM
Anonymous
Unfortunately, we know that a lot women fake "satisfaction," so this isn't overly surprising. But here's the interesting part: Those most likely to report the faking were the same women who thought their guys were either cheating on them or thinking about leaving.
"Pretending orgasm may be part of a broader strategy of mate retention performed by women who perceive higher risk of partner infidelity," write the study's authors, Farnaz Kaighobadi of NYC's Columbia University, and Todd Shackelford and Viviana Weekes-Shackelford of Oakland University in Michigan.
In other words, the same women who faked org**sms were also more likely to report other kinds of "mate-retention" behaviors (aka hold-on-to-your-man however you can!) -- from flirting with other men in front of their guys to snooping on them and dressing to please.
Dr. Ian Kerner, s**xuality expert and founder of GoodInBed.com, says there are many reasons why women fake orgasms. "To bring an end to something that's not satisfying, to spare a guy's feelings ... even sometimes because they enjoy faking it," he says. "It makes sense that some women fake orgasms because they feel pressured that if they don't, their guy might feel like the relationship isn't working."
However, Kerner points out that feeling insecure in her relationship can often affect a woman's orgasmic capacity.
"That may be part of the reason that she's faking it," says Kerner, "not necessarily to hold on to her man, but because she doesn't trust him enough to really be able to let go and have an orgasm."
But there's one major problem with faking the Big O: If your partner thinks you had one, why would he keep trying?
"I don't think that faking does anybody any good," Kerner says, adding that it's important for women to communicate why they're feeling compelled to fake orgasms and address the underlying relationship issues. Pretending s**xual satisfaction isn't a great keep-your-man strategy -- it may be a sort of troubled relationship stop-gap, but it won't last, while the real problems will.
Faking orgasms, says Kerner, generally leads to a build-up of anger and resentment that causes much greater relationship distress. After all, he points out, men don't usually even realize when we're acting out our oh yeses. "Most guys," Kerner notes, "would tell you their partners never fake it."
And let's not forget all the reasons why having actual orgasms -- rather than pretend ones -- is soooo much better for us: they're good for our hearts, our sleep and even our pretty faces. Just ask Lady Gaga -- she recently credited her gorgeous skin to spinach and, yes, orgasms.
As Kerner says, "If a woman is with a guy and she feels she has to fake it in order to hold on to him -- she's with the wrong guy." A-men.
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